i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize