Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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