So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
