did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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