Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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