your parents love me but you hate me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
