She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
