ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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