So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he thought i was a dude.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
