everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
