I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
