Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
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