butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
