Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
