Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
