Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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