Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
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