Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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