Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize