Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My vagina is officially offended.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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