I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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