please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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