you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
