on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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