Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
