He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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