i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
