Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize