Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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