DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
