You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize