evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she looked like the before picture.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
