I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
