I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
