If that was your dad, he is hot
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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