WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
