I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize