WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
