when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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