i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think I sprained my soul last night
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
