it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
