How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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