This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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