pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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