9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
