I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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