If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
