it wasn't lemon gatorade
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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