I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
