i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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