Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
