best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize