we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
This can only be settled by a dance off.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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