My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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