so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
