My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
