I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
