the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
