omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
