Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
