She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
