batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
